Friday, January 27, 2006
Today, is the eve of the eve of Chinese New Year. Technically, today
is the eve of Chinese New Year, since it's already past 12 midnight and all. I'm typing extremely slowly, for fear that I might wake the monstrosity that's sleeping right behind me. And it's a Friday. Do you know what that means? It simply means, that I ran 2.4 today. It didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought it would be. Oh well, I've to accept, sooner or later, the fact that I can't run away from certain things forever.
Today's blog entry title is " A Wake ", as we can all see. So, what exactly is " A Wake "?
A WakeNow, the wake I am referring to, is pretty much what can be found on that particular webpage. I would like to explain further, exactly what I mean....
We (me, Guhuai, Denny and Linda) went to Jill's grandma's wake. Now, this wake, refers to (with refernce of the webpage provided above)
1. To keep watch or guard, especially over a corpse
2. a) To keep a vigil over
b) To hold a wake over
3. A watch; a vigil
4. A watch over the body of a deceased person before burial, sometimes accompanied by festivity. Also called viewing
It wasn't a very '' sad '' affair, but it wasn't really " happy " either. She left abruptly. Like a sudden gust of wind blowing out a candle flame, she departed from this world just as suddenly, as unexpectedly. I wasn't really close to her when she was still around, but I still made a slight effort, just to see her for the last time. I could tell that Jill was saddened, though she was always at war with her gramps. Oh well, that's human nature isn't it? Taking things for granted, and only regreting it after the thing, whatever it may be, is gone. I suppose deep down, Jill still loved her gramps.
Well, this brings me to the second meaning of " A Wake ". According to the webpage provided above, " A Wake " could also be
1. To be brought into a state of awareness or alertness
2. To make aware of; alert
During the wake, it suddenly dawned upon me, the fragility of life. She left so abruptly, so sudden. It's actually quite scary really. One moment you're alive and kicking, and the next, you're six feet under, popping up daisies, conversing with the earthworms etc etc. Just a moment ago, she was still with us, but the next, she's gone. But, one thing is for sure, the memories of her will never fade, for we choose, how long we want to keep that memory. I choose to stash them away, capture them in a cage, and keeping them forever. That's really the whole point of this blog now isn't it?
Like a tsunami, wave coming after wave, a thought came into my mind. What if, I know I shouldn't be saying this but, just what if, there wasn't a God? Not yours, not mine, not anyone else's. None. What if, after we die, we just snuff out of existance? It's like, there's no Heaven or Hell and no other place we can go to. So when we die, our consciousness just disappears. It's hard to put it into words. You have to think hard, to be able to visualize such stuff. Just think. After your death, you cease to exist. No feelings, no emotion, no senses, no thoughts, no consciousness.
What is the place that you're going to go to after your death look like? A place where everthing is gold? A place among the clouds? A place underwater? You imagine whatever it is you believe it should look like. Now, erase all of that. Think about this. You die, and there will no longer be a " you " anymore. What if we just disappear after our deaths? Just disappear, not turn into ghosts, demons, angels and the like. And not going anywhere, not to Heaven, not to Hell, not even reamaining on earth. Just disappearing, ceasing to be. Unconscious, with no feelings, thoughts, emotions, senses etc at all. Unconscious
forever.
Now,
that, is scary. Just imagine.....
11:58 pm