Saturday, January 27, 2007
"Diamonds are forever~". Comparatively, us humans do wayyyy worse than diamonds. It's like "Humans are for 70-plus-average~" Yeah. Life's pretty short if you were to compare yourself to a diamond. So it's inveitable that we all grow old, grow frail and grow moss.
As I come to another junction in my life, (the one where you must make a choice which will decide how you live your life from then on and of which the wrong choice will lead you to your ultimate demise of which no one will really give a damn seeing how it is a dog-eat-dog-your-loss-is-my-gain-it's-either-you-or-me society) it dawns upon me that what many adults, that "You will look back and really miss school life." is really quite true.
It used to be:
"You will look back and really miss school life."
"Yeah right. How 'bout kiss my ass? Can't wait to get the hell outta here."
Now it's:
"Dang, I miss school." Not school per se but recess and friends and all the ridiculous yet funny moments.
Oh well, it's a little late for regrets now. Soon, I'd be in another school, maybe this time, I'd get it right and treasure it while I can.
Or I can let history have His encore and go "What the [
expletive deleted] am I doing here. Can' t wait till I get the hell outta here."
Diamonds are forever~ But humans are not. Unless you have been put under immense heat and pressure for donkey years which really is impossible cause you'd be dead by then and would have been incinerated due to restrictions on wasting lands for burying dead people.
Happy Birthday Nat! Diamonds are forever~
1:45 am
Friday, January 19, 2007
Hello, I'm Charlee. Charlee has been away for a long long time. Many fishies around, so Charlee hide on aeroplanes. Fishies are scary. Fishies are not like chickens. Fishies can swim, but chickens cannot. Fishies are scary. Fishies have small hands tat go flop flop but chickens have big hands, big, soft and furry hands! Charlee only come down because Chirstina promise Charlee that Chirstina will protect Charlee from fishies.
Fishies now can fly! Flying fishies! Flying fishies are called flying fish. Aeroplanes cannot protect Charlee anymore beacuse fishies can fly, so Charlee come down.
Now Charlee has to go, before Sherwin wakes up again. Charlee thinks Sherwin is crazy.
Charlee go now. Bye bye.
10:38 pm
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Everyone around me is in a relationship, not
everyone per se but those that I see the most often. Jill's with Han, Garene's with Thomas, Yu Yan's with Eric, and maybe someone else is with someone else of which I do not know. So, as it always does, it set me thinking.
I think I think too much. Ah well.
Like I was saying, it got me thinking why I don't have like, a mate, bluntly put. I'm going to sound full of myself, so if you think you won't be able to take it, don't read on. (But I know you will anyway). God only knows how many, erm, admirers I have but I never really got into a proper relationship. Not that I allowed the relationships to even start, much less get remotely close to anywhere.
Up till now, after quite a bit of mindless brooding, I have come to a conclusion or a few conclusions rather. The problem(s) lie(s) with me.
"The Sketchbook...V2.5 on the topic of insensitivity"
--- You see, sometimes I am one of the most insensitve creatures on earth. Someone goes up to me, tells me a piece of good news, and I think that person is just full of rubbish and happy shit and he or she should just shut up. Or someone tells me a sad story about how he/she got a big bad scolding from their parents. Inside I feel totally impassive and think the person is being so lame.
So I lie. I just pretend to laugh along, or make that stupid worry-worry face (that sometimes Po-Chun has with accompanied mouth movement) for that person. Inside I feel as peaceful as the eye of a hurricane. I mean, if I don't show an expression, the person who told me will say "Ay! You like nothing one leh! Next time I don't want to tell you anything le..." or at least think along those lines.
But sometimes even the slightest hurt done to another person, especially when it comes to the underdogs or for that matter, me, I'll feel upset and agitated for seemingly reason. For even the smallest things, I THINK I can identify a huge agenda behind an action taken against me. Maybe I should be a military strategist. Paranoid maybe?
But I'm honest enough to admit I'm more sensitive to things done against me. Selfish yes, but honest. And I'm generous enough to bother (even though I rather much be doing something else) listening through people's problems and saying the right things, but I'm dishonest in not meaning my words. ---
I finally find someone that manages to put my inner-most thoughts into words. This has been something I've been trying to do for quite a long time, but alas. So the next best thing for me to do is copy it wholesale.
However, despite the uncanny similarity, (it is as close as it can get) the part about being more sensitive about things done to [me] differs slightly. I strongly feel I'm sensitive in equal measure for things done to me as well as things done to others. But you might think otherwise, it's your brain anyway
Taken from
Nathaniel.
Digressing a little, I find a lot of myself in Nathaniel. So I say this to you Nat, if you're reading that is. We're not so different, You and I. Haha.
"Oh thou arts sick of self-love"
Possibly, another possible possiblility, I think, is that I'm too full of self-love. There is as much love as a green bean in this stone heart of mine to love. Whatever amount there is is spent loving me. I'm too self-centred to love anyone else. Maybe me being insensitive and me being sick of self-love's actually related. Heck, they might even be the same thing altogether. But I can never really tell...Hmm...
"Trying too hard"
Jill was telling me that I'm always trying too hard in the sense that I'm always too concious about they way I look and act when I'm out, to the point that all my effort is spent in this area. I suppose it's true after thinking about it.
"People go out thinking that there's a chance they might get to meet someone, but you don't. To make things worse, you're always so concious about how you look."
She said something along those lines and I was like "Maybe.", which evolved into "I suppose so." after some thought, and eventually "Yeah!" after much mindless brooding. I guess it all boils down to my insecurities about myself or rather, the fact that I hate being in my own skin.
Ahh, long post.
"Whoever marries me, if I ever do, must be one insane woman."
Quote: "Me"
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Grey's Anatomy is on Channel 5. Re-run of season 1.
So there was this part where they were operating on a baby and obviously they had to, bluntly put, cut the baby open. Anyone with common sense would think that they would sew the wound up after the operation.
In any case, if this were a joke, this would be the punchline:
Do the doctors go "~Humdeedum. Sew the baby up, sew the baby up~"? or hum a jingle or something?
Cause if I were the one sewin it up, I would.
1:25 am
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
'06 passed by in the blink of an eye. Frankly speaking, I can't really recall anything,looking back, much about the past year. Perhaps the most significant event would be the 'O' Levels and another thing would be the whole Jellyfish shebang. Also somewhat less importantly, a year ago, someone plopped his ass down and started a blog, this blog.
I made a really good resolution last year. Let's see. What was it....Dang. Can't remember. Shall check it out later. Oh right. Now I remember. It was a simple resolution to stop procrastination.
But ALAS! Failed on the first day I did. There I was thinking it was a practical one. Turned out, it was the toughest of all the resolutions I made throughout my entire 16 years except for the one along the lines of not swearing so much and the one about not shopping so much and that one about handing up my assignments on time and the one about keeping my paperwork neatly in a file or the like.
Turns out, I was never and still isn't any good at resolutions. Oh well. Therefore, this year, I have decided to make a really simple and practical resolution. Give me a second to think of how I should phrase it...
Okay, here goes....
NO RESOLUTIONS THIS YEAR!Hurrah! I made it. I have fulfilled my resolution for this year! HAH! Kiss my ass New Year.
12:40 am