Wednesday, May 24, 2006
I was sitting at home the other day, staring at the wall when I heard my neighbor's kids playing outside. I got pissed off and opened my window and found a group of kids playing grab ass. I started yelling at them and shaking my fists in the air. The kids started to laugh, so I went inside to get my shovel.
When I came outside they started to run off, so I chased after them with my shovel but I couldn't keep up and I almost had a heart attack (which would have pissed me off even more, but at least if I died, I'd have become an evil spirit that haunts children). The next day I bought a bear trap and set it outside my house. That evening when I was eating vegetarians, I heard the bear trap clamp one of the kids. I ran outside and found my neighbor's kid trapped in the clamp, so I took him inside and ate him.
8:30 pm