Tuesday, March 13, 2007
The Calm Before AND After Storm
It's funny how people, more often than not, speak only of the calm BEFORE the storm; no one ever seems to speak of the calm AFTER the storm. Surely, the storm will eventually come to a halt.
Then what happens? If I'm not wrong, and I'm positively sure I'm not, there will be relative peace before the next storm, unless of course, the storm you speak of is one that doesn't end which will be impossible seeing how there's, currently, not the slightest sign of a storm. Perhaps further evidence would be something like, if there's no calm AFTER the storm, then surely there would only be ONE storm because if there's no calm AFTER the storm there wouldn't be another calm BEFORE the storm seeing how there's no calm AFTER the storm. Which would be, once again, impossible.
Just to clear things up: SAID CALMNESS - SAID CALMNESS BEFORE THE STORM - START OF SAID STORM - CULMINATION OF SAID STORM - END OF SAID STORM - CALM AFTER SAID STORM - SAID CALMNESS - SAID CALMNESS BEFORE THE STORM - START OF ANOTHER STORM....
This, as opposed to: SAID CALMNESS - SAID CALMNESS BEFORE THE STORM - START OF SAID STORM - CULMINATION OF SAID STORM - END OF SAID STORM - NO CALM AFTER SAID STORM - NO CALMNESS TO ALLOW BREWING OF YET ANOTHER STORM - CESSATION OF ALL STORMS ALTOGETHER - ONLY ONE STORM IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND....
Yup.
Note how people looooooooooooooooove going in huge rounds just to make a point. Note, also, how people looooooooooooooooove digression even before any semblence of any main plot/story/recount/etc/etc even start.
Ahhh....Digression....
It has been one hell of a storm for me with said calmness before and after said storm. Starting with me just loafing around, said storm started brewing on Monday, succeeding said calmness of course. Now, said storm grew in magnitude, with increasing signs of its threatening to explode right in my face as Monday drew nearer and nearer to a close. Ahh... But said storm bid its time and held fast, resisting the urge to blow my head off, which said storm eventually did anyway.
Riiiight.
To the story proper.We got our posting results on Tuesday morning. On a side note, whoever said the results would come out at 8am seriously got everyone cheated since I checked the results online at like what? 7.30am.
Anyhow, I got into my first choice I did, Visual Communications at TP but being me, being the indecisive me, I decided that I wanted to go to a JC instead. WOW! Big surprise huh? So off we went, YongWen, May, LiNing, Linda and me, of course, to our dearest alma mater to get our testimonials and stuff from our teachers. All of us wanted to appeal. Me to a JC, and the rest to other JCs.
To cut the day short, we went to school at say, 9.30am? And we got everything done by what? 4pm. That's my fault actually, lost my CCA slips I did which we crucial for the appeals to be made that day. Or so we were told. Got everything ready, the printing of testimonials, re-printing of my CCA slips, etc etc. And we hit NYJC on time! 4.30pm! Yeah, late much but still on time.
And we made our appeals. ONLINE! Turns out we could have appeal right in the comfort of our own homes but NOOOOOOOOOO, no one told us. To make matters worse all the waiting, all the 7 hours of waiting, were rendered in vain. Yeah.But what's done's done.
ONWARDS!
Wednesday. I went down to YJC to make my appeal. Settled everything and went for lunch with LiNing and May. What I didn't realize at that time was the fact that I was in the very eye of said storm. Peace.
Thursday. Had lunch with May and YongWen. Walked around in AMK Hub. Then YJC called. May picked because I was like "UNKNOWN NUMBER! Quick! You pick, you pick. I think it's YJ." It is at this point that I moved out of the eye and into the storm which kicked itself up a notch since the last time I was struggling to keep myself afloat.
Friday. Went down to YJC, as instructed, to collect the transfer form. It was then, 10am. Some HOD of something told me to go over to TP and get the form signed so that I'll be released from TP. I was like "Okay." She then instructed me to return by 2pm sharp to which I promptly went "HUH?!" "Fine. I'll give you till 4pm, that's 6 hours to get it settled." was the reply. In resignation, "Okay" was mine.
Then it came.
"If you hand in the form, we will NEVER release you."
No one will have any idea, EVER, of how sinister that sounded at that time. You'd have to experience that yourself to know. It was a bolt of thunder to my miserable, pathetic raft.
See, this is how it works: BOLT OF THUNDER + MISERABLE, PATHETIC RAFT = SPLITEREENS.
After much brooding, AGAIN, I decided that it's either NYJC or TP. Ousted was YJC altogether. Reached this resolution at MJC, where LiNing made her appeal.
From there, it was to NYJC we went for the auditions. Hit there round say, 4pm? Audition wasn't till 5pm. So there we waited, till 5pm. We were then given instruments for warm-ups and were brought to different areas.
Auditions were by the range, so being a tubist, I was last. I was the ONLY tubist there and chances were, I would have gotten in. What also helped was the fact that the tubists that are in the band are all J2s so they'll be stepping down after SYF which is like April. Then on, there wouldn't any tubist around anymore. So my chances were high. Still, there were the auditions to sit through.
And so the real waiting began.
My inferiority complex worked up, seeing how the J2s were like maestros compared to me. And I wondered if I would be able to live with it if I got in. I wondered if I would be able to come anywhere close to how good they were. I wondered if this was what I really wanted. I wondered.
Running on repeat were these thoughts as the waiting continued...8.15pm. It was just a few more people away to my turn. Oh the nerves. I was just so far away from auditioning. Said storm was at its zenith.
There was a kind of anguish, the kind which constricts your chest and clamps down hard on your heart. It was something that I have never felt before. Something was wrong. It sent the urge for me to run right in front of a car and get it over and done with. Wrenching. Yes, that's the word. A forceful tug, except that the "forceful" would be as weak as how the size of Asia, Europe, Africa and the Americas put together, is compared to the size of Singapore.
Then, I ran away...
I left together with LiNing. Couldn't join them for dinner though, so I took a bus on my own to central and had a pleasant time with GuHuai and Denny as we chat over supper. Wanted to watch a movie but alas the day, the timings were unearthly. Instead, we walked around for a bit while playing with the notion of have a few games of pool which we eventually dismissed no thanks to the lack of avalible pool tables. We then headed home for well-deserved rest.
TGIF!
And for the once in a very very very VERY long time, I felt happy. I felt TRULY happy. It was the usual case of no-amount-of-words-can-describe-it. I felt light, like a heavy burden had been lifted off me, and for the next 2 days, I was abnormally happy. Like strangely happy...
It was the end of said storm. And there was peace.
Infinite thanks to MsMok, MdmCheam and MsBalan for your continuous help and unending support.
12:00 am