Tuesday, September 11, 2007
BEE TAI MAK
It's a kind of noodle-like, vermicelli-cum-kwuaytiao, carbohydrate providing food
I personally bear no grudge against the humble, plain-to-the-tastebuds, slimy, noodle-like, vermicelli-cum-kwuaytiao, carbohydrate providing "bee tai mak". But is an ancient force the "bee tai mak" reckons with, a force capable of driving the whole family up the wall, a force of which I do not particularly hate nor dislike, just get VERY irritated with very so often, meaning, EVERYDAY.
Conversation with said ancient force.
[Of which takes place in this thing called, no doubt, "CHINEEEEEEESE", pronounced CHAI-NISSSSSSSSSSSS, which also happens to be something very ancient, but I shall leave THAT to another day. Heeding the gah-men's advice that we need to embrace globalization and whatnot, said conversation shall be in English, to cater to a global audience.]
Me: Why is there so much BEEEEEEEEEEE TAI MAK in my bowl?
[I had initially wondered why there was a cauldron placed at my seat, until I realised it was my bowl.]
Ancient Force: No, there's not a lot of it. It's actually very little.
Me: NO, [I firmly insisted], there is a [HELL] lot.
[HELL obviously belonged no where near the conversation so it stayed that way, in brackets.]
*cue me scooping out BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TAI MAK out of
the cauldron the bowl.
There is one point I have to make before we can move on.
One Point: I ABSOLUTELY ABHOR people touching me. Much less POKE. I do NOT understand why people POKE, using the finger of course. It is rude and obtrusive in every sense of the word. Neither do I appreciate people tapping me in a forceful way. If you really must get my attention, it will be wise to first get to know my name, and use it. In the circumstance that I appear to be deaf, give my shoulder a quick, LIGHT tap. Surely my sense of touch and hearing will not leave me at the same time.
And for the record, the only person so far that has managed to get my attention through means of a tap is my mother. And maybe a few other people that have done so while my attention wasn't on my shoulders.
In any case, possibly one OTHER thing I abhor more than people prodding me from my sleep is how people state the obvious or rather, state something else when it is obviously untrue, like how there was enough BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TAI MAK to feed the entire continent of Africa swimming in the cauldron I had for a bowl and still get people insisting that no, it is in actual fact, very little. In retrospect, it was indeed little, if you were thinking of feeding the whole of China.
And I can no longer type in italics without them turning our like
this and it gets irritating. In any case, use your imaginations a little and think of which words I'd italicize. Like for example, gah-men, and all other words that originate from dialect and Singlish.
6:08 pm